Dear Love Coach,

I split up with my girlfriend a year ago, but every time I bump into her at clubs we end up sleeping together. It's great at the time, but always results in a row about something trivial and we don't speak to each other until the next time we randomly hook up. It's driving me mad.

We mix in the same social group so I never seem to be able to escape her. What should I do to stop this cycle?

Ben, Hammersmith, London

Dear Ben

Oh honey, it seems that you are seduced by the sexual aspect of your relationship you had with her. Getting boned by a hottie isn't everything you know. Trust me, after 50 years of it I'm bored shitless - give me a night in with Corrie and some fruit pastels
anytime.

Listen to me sweetie - you shouldn't have to sacrifice your social circle, so when you see her remind yourself of why you split up in the first place - y'know, how vile and annoying she is - and look elsewhere.

You know the saying, to get over someone get on top of someone else!