TV

X Factor - ITV (Saturdays, 6.45pm & 9.10pm)

The most addictive show on TV has us gripped by the sofa- lounging balls as the battle for the number one spot starts to heat up faster than a pot noodle at 3am.

The genius that is Simon Fuller is what keeps us glued to the screens, and not actually any of the so-called talent. His miserable slap face, attitude problem and unforgiveable dress sense is cause for continual entertainment. Move over Alisha (you kidding?), Leon (you what?) and Rhydian (give over!), with the entity that is Fuller - X marks the spot.

DOVE CHOICE

Film

Fred Klaus (David Dobkin, 2007)

Brilliant! This is what the Christmas season is all about. Dark, twisted angles on crimbo fairytales that feature stars that bring warmth to the part.

In 2003 we had Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa (classic), but this
year it's the sinfully adorable Vince Vaughn who plays Fred Klaus, the neurotic bad behaving older brother of Nicholas.

Having basked in his angelic brother's golden light all his life, this black Santa of the family causes havoc stealing properties and doing his best to ruin Christmas. Yay!

STAG CHOICE

FILMS TO... GET WEIRDED OUT BY

Francesca Gavin is Visual Arts Editor at Dazed & Confused, Associate Editor at Marmalade magazine and regularly contributes to everything from the Guardian art blog to The Big Issue.

Her first book on unusual street art projects, 'Street Renegades: New Underground Art' (Laurence King), is out now.

1. Dead of Night (1945)

Do you know that feeling of not being able to wake up from a nightmare? This black and white British movie  made up of five supernatural stories is like that. Strange, quiet and with one the most frightening, surreal endings in cinema.

So good it's stupid.

2. Don't Look Now (1973)

I often like to walk down the street with my hood up impersonating the little red dwarf killer from Nicholas Roeg's best movie.

The editing is partly what makes this film so mesmerising and Roeg's thing for vibrant blood red that seems to hover on the edges of the screen.

3. The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)

My first horror. Giant spiders from outerspace arrive on earth in crystal blobs and eat everything in their wake. At one point they are so big their webs can catch cars and they cover entire buildings. Really hairy bastards too.

4. Shivers (1975)

Very odd early David Croenenberg movie where turd-shaped parasites penetrate people and turn them into sex zombies. The scariest bit, apart from the crawling penis creatures, is the empty, modernist 70s architecture.

5. The Innocents (1961)

Odd film based on Henry James' Turn of the Screw, about strange Victorian children posessed by ghosts.  The sound is really odd and flat which makes you feel uncomfortable. Nothing is obvious and clear - the anthesis of gore.

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