I know this is hard to believe but I haven't DJed since my New York fiasco. The whole experience was so humiliating it put me right off it and I have lost my ability to beat-mix. So I started going out, without my tunes, as a regular bloke.

It was a bit strange to start with, I felt naked going into bars and clubs without my bag of CDs. With my tunes I felt special, like I was important. Without them I felt like a nobody.

I started going to bars in the West End and found myself staring at the DJ playing feeling overwhelmed with jealousy. I could see birds flirting with them and buying them drinks (not that they ever did that for me anyway), and I found myself wishing that was me.

One night at the White House in Clapham I got so drunk I pretended to accidentally drop my pint over the DJ's records. He punched me, his girlfriend dug her nails into my face and threw her drink over me, and I got chucked out. I've never felt so unpopular being an average Joe.

In fact it got too much to bear so I went and had some counseling. I have now just started getting my mixing skills back and have my first DJ gig coming up this weekend at All Bar One in Kingston. I'll let you know how it goes...